As you found out previously my nanna lives with us, she has been living with us since november of last year and i have to say, i dont think any of us were prepared for what was in store for us!
On the 28th of this month will be two years since my nannas husband (pop) of 56 years has passed...and in this time of pops passing, has been a great divide of our family, i do not have any contacted with either of my dads two sisters, they both hate each other and are all to stubborn and selfish to forgive and forget what ever it was that had made them drift apart! my Pop died of cancer, he was poorly for ages and you could see the damage this sickening illness was doing to him, but did any other my two aunties organise his funeral, see him before he passed and offer to help NO!! they all left it up to my dad to sort out the mess, and so he did, but lil did he know, that now they would blame him for taking their dad away, for taking over control and for dividing the family, lil did he know how this would affect him and his family!! anyhoo back to the point of this story...
So my nanna lives with us, she has dementia and you can see it slowly taking hold of her, you can hear it and worst of all its walking around in our house like she owns the place..i know its her illness talking and i know living in a house of 9 now must be hard! it would be hard to be ill like this and live with a household of children, and as far as im concerned, she needs to be in a home! she yells at us, she thinks my brother and sisters are stupid and get away with murder, she is obsessed with standing in the door way and doing the dishes and feeding and caring for her dog more so than herself!! she has said several times that she wants to die, she doesnt wanna be here any more! and she has told to my fathers and mothers face that we arent good enough and we should just fuck off!
I used to love my nanna, we all used to! now the table has turned and we wont nothing more than to get her outta our house, as far as im concerned i couldnt care if she died, as she is doing nothing but causing fights, tearing us apart and dividing us!!! she wants all the attention on her, she thrives off of it, but face it nanna, you are a guest in our house and you will follow our rules! if that is too hard for you, i say stiff shit! get over it or get out!! go live with your daugthers, nut no she wouldnt, shes a coward and wouldnt do anything that would help herself, she wouldnt know how to think for herself!
Dad needs to grow some balls and put her in a home, even if she goes in kicking and screaming, im sick of her asking me stupid questions, im sick of her watching me when im in the bathroom putting my make up on, im sick of her stinking up he fucking toilet coz she has bad bowels or whatever! its her fault she is getting worse, she wont eat, she lives off of coffee and feeds her dog more than herself!!
i know i know, this is old age, and this is her illness talking and i know we cant really do anything for her, but be here for her, and watch her as she slips through our fingers and slips even further into her dementia, but the thing is, she should be doing this is a home for the elderly, i dont see what makes them SO scary, i mean i know its kinda like the end of the line, but atleast you will be with people with people who are your own age, going through the same things and talk about the past with one another!!
There are three generations in our house and im SO sick of the generational clash, im sick of nanna be SO curious and interested in the computer and asking me pointless questions and reading what im doing!! and im sure this makes her feel behind in the times, but lets face it, SHE is! and lets face this, SHE IS GOING TO WRECK OUR FAMILY IF SHE ISNT OUT SOON!!!!!
But thank god in 17 days i am moving to adelaide!!! hurrah! hello new beginnings!
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